My most honest blog post yet.
Since moving to Brooklyn, I’ve considered moving back to New England and living on a farm several times. Needless to say, I’m not becoming a farmer, but it’s a common theme I go back to when times are tough.
After having coffee with someone very accomplished in the world of media, I learned that apparently, I’m not the only person who’s moved to NYC, struggled to find a full time gig and considered abandoning everything. Learning that I wasn’t the only person who hasn’t found a job right away (what was I thinking?) was a relief.
Now listen, I’m not one to sugar coat anything on this blog and I’m really going to hurt my ego by saying this, but living in New York hasn’t been the best. Social media can be a mask for difficult realities and I don’t want to be that person. I want to bring some realness to someone who may be feeling the same way. I often think that if I knew someone in my situation, perhaps I wouldn’t be so damn stubborn everyday.
The last 8 months of trying to find a full time job have been like 8 months of bad dating. I’ve been strung along, led on, played games with, ghosted and sometimes after a few dates, realize we’re not a good match. What the hell New York! What’s the deal?
After some bad experiences, and let’s be honest, a slew of rejection, you begin to question everything. Identity crisis hotline where you at? There’s certain things that ground me, but for the most part, it’s easy to lose yourself here. Thank god I have supportive friends and incredible family or else I don’t know who I would be.
Don’t misunderstand me though, I absolutely love New York, sometimes I even find the games it plays with me liberating. For example, I worked somewhere for 36 hours, quit because it was that bad, and had the most empowering moment of my life. So empowering, that the security guard asked to shake my hand as I left the building because I gave a pretty epic speech. Yes, I was back to square one, but when you spend so much time being hard on yourself, you have to respect yourself enough not to settle.
Some days are better than others, and the moments of bliss are what makes life here worth it. I know my story is barely written, and when I change my perspective it’s exciting. Sometimes all we have to do is just make any challenge exciting, laugh about it, and say OK this is all leading to something great so let’s get hype – even after “we found someone more suited for the job.” They are just words, they are just positions, and I have so much to be proud of.
Anyways, that’s my gist, that’s the haps. Don’t worry, things are good overall, I’m very grateful for the exciting life I get to live every day.
And with that I say, till next time.